


Hair

by APHPuffinChild



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Other, Romance, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 16:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11971098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/APHPuffinChild/pseuds/APHPuffinChild
Summary: In which Erin and Levy's choices in hair mean a lot more than outsiders might think(This description sounds sexist given that I genderbent them purely for this fic but I promise it's not)





	Hair

**Author's Note:**

> Discussing hair headcanons for cosplay turned in to a full blown fic
> 
> On a side note, the only genderbent characters are Levi and Eren, who will be called Levy/Lev and Erin respectively in this fic

It was an inconvenience, or so she said, as she cropped the hair from her head - it got in the way, and that sort of thing just wasn't worth the risk in the battles she fought.

It had been longer, before, with Carla insisting that it was only proper - a battle she fought and ultimately lost as Erin simply cut it herself. Nowadays, it rarely even came to her shoulder, growing out to around Armin's length out of negligence (calling it laziness would result in a swift punch to the stomach, but it was true), before a quick session with the kitchen scissors later and her hair rested in floaty tufts of brown that would soon stand up in wind-swept tangles that really did make her look like a hedgehog, no matter how much Jean saying it made her want to kick him.

To her, it meant rebellion. The months it took to grow it out - even by a few centimetres - all cut to shreds in an instant...It was therapeutic in a way, a reminder of the of the possibility to both destroy and break, replace and rebuild the tower of brightly-coloured building blocks in her mind. Perhaps joining the survey corps had just been another iteration of this - another way to quell the desperation in her head, the only way to break out of that cage.

Her only way out was to shatter it to pieces.

She envied the others sometimes - even Ymir, who was widely established to be more masculine than Armin could ever want or try to be, had long hair - she had debated on cutting it at one point, but after Krista complained about her potential lack of hair-braiding buddy she'd given up on the idea all together. She's still never let it grow out, though. Perhaps it was like meat, or sugar - one of those luxuries only the rich could afford in times like this - a liberty that would have to be left for times when they were free to walk beyond the walls unharmed.

And so she begins to build from the ground up, all over again.

***

Levy's hair too, was short. It always had been - as soon as she'd had access to scissors it had all been gone - tangled knots of black, overgrown and wild with years of neglect gone in an instant - not that Lev wanted a reminder, looking in the mirror was hard enough as it is.

She keeps it short, over the years. Cutting it shorter and shorter whenever anything falls apart: the day she loses Isabel and Farlan, her head is left bare, and Erwin has to tear the razor from her hands so that her hair is the only thing that goes.

She can't stand it when it gets long - the way her hair falls is too much like her mother's, weary eyes so desperate for the reflection in the mirror to be anyone but her - anything else. Anything.

 

When the wounds of old finally scab and scar she lets it grow, avoiding mirrors here and there till it reaches her chest and she asks Hanji to help her take care of it - learning to braid and plait and tie it up any way her hair would allow. She grows to love it. As it grows, so does she - the care and effort she puts in to it reflects on her.

She grows. Regardless of how (annoyingly) short she remains, she grows. And as she looks in the mirror Levy can't help but feel so strangely fulfilled.

She's the same, but different.

Her face is fuller than her mother's, rounded at the angular edges that hunger had cut from her skin: sunken eyes peering tiredly from beneath unwashed hair - so different to the ones Levy sees in the mirror today - grey eyes steeled from years of hurt and healing, all the same now to her. 

She sits patiently as Hanji braids her hair, the two of them sat cross-legged in a corner of the courtyard. 

"This suits you," they say, a little absentmindedly, "You seem different nowadays-" they finish with a flourish, "-It's nice."

"If you say so," she says quietly, disinterest lacing her voice, but the smile that paints her face says otherwise.

She's still broken. Still far from fixed, by all means - but...she'll be okay.

***

"Haven't you ever thought of growing it out?" Lev asks.

She's lying in Erin's lap, looking up at her as she reaches up, hands threading through wisps of hair,

"I guess," Erin shrugs, clasping her own hand around Levy's left one, "I don't think it suits me, really." Levy hums wordlessly, thumb brushing against Erin's cheek, "I like yours though!" She grins, pressing Lev's other hand against her cheek and beaming down at her, "I think I like it better long, on you at least,"

Levy flushes slightly, Erin doesn't understand what it means - how hard those words hit, right then and there.

"Yeah," Lev smiles, "Me too."

***

"Hair: a symbol of physical strength and virility; all virtues and properties of a person are said to be gathered within it. It is a symbol of instinct and intuition, of female sexuality and prowess."

**Author's Note:**

> End 'quote' is actually just a Frankenstein quote of quotes from various articles on hair symbolism within culture and dreams.
> 
> As always, comments and critiques are appreciated! I haven't written for this fandom or these characters much before so I hope I did okay :)


End file.
